June 16, 2010

Putting Off Till Tomorrow…

Okay, let’s face facts: we all procrastinate sometimes.  There are things we dread doing, things we like to “put on the back burner” because they’re no fun, and so on.  A lot of times, we even fool ourselves into thinking that the task we put off will be completed by magic somehow, requiring no thought—and certainly no effort—from us!  I’ve done it.  You’ve done it.  We all do from time to time.  Often we aren’t even aware that it is procrastination preventing that particular thing from being done.  So what’s going on?

Although someone has probably made a life’s work out of studying procrastination, I am inclined to put off extensive exploration into the topic… That was a joke.  Honestly though, we can understand procrastination quite easily by recognizing that it comes out of a few basic human attitudes and that it can be overcome with specific self-management techniques.  The trick to it all, like in a lot of things, is to increase awareness of when it is happening, and to substitute something new.  Understanding why anyone might procrastinate could be a beginning point:
Perfectionism
Fear of failure or not measuring up
Competing demands
Impulse control
Over-commitment or overwhelmed?
Self-satisfaction

Many of these justifications for procrastination come out of the need to present a highly acceptable image to the world.  For example, the individual who strives for perfection is aiming for others to see her/him as competent, capable, etc.  We all want that, of course—to function well in the world, in most all the things we do.  That’s not an irrational desire.  But, intensify that a bit with the belief that “I MUST be perceived as perfect in every thing I do” and it’s easier to see how this is simply impossible.

Likewise, we can see how an individual, preparing for a particular task (something like a speech or a job interview) might be just a little nervous about how they will do.  This is all normal, and if we believe the psychologists who study such things, a little nervousness may be exactly what’s needed to motivate additional rehearsal or preparation.  But again, take that normal feeling and intensify it with an internal belief that the speech or interview MUST go perfectly, and it’s easy to see how fear could play a role in putting off what needs to be done.

At times, we may be focused on the task at hand whether it is work or play. How many times have you been focused on achievement (writing a paper,  or cleaning out the refrigerator) only to be distracted by a phone call by friends luring you to “play,” or enjoying leisure pursuits, only to be triggered by a work-related obligation.

Other individuals procrastinate by allowing themselves to be distracted from the task at hand.  This too, is something that we all do from time to time, and we wouldn’t want to dampen all spontaneity from life.  However, if poor impulse control is getting in the way of achieving an important goal or completing tasks that would improve quality of life, then we’d have to label that as self-destructive behavior, which is irrational. (See mindfulness and flow articles)

Procrastination often arises quite naturally because an individual is actually overworked, overcommitted, overwhelmed.  This happens to each of us from time to time, of course, and we generally figure out ways to delegate, or to complete things in keeping with some kind of priority system that allows a few tasks to fall by the wayside.  Normal behavior.  However, there are those who (and we’d almost always refer back to that demand for perfection) imagine that they will present a better image to the world (and be seen as “more perfect”) if they take on every task that comes along.  If you’ve worked alongside one of these individuals you have likely wanted to give them a good talking to!  For the short term, they make everybody else look like a slacker, it’s true, but over the long haul, that need to say “yes” to request brings with it an eventual collapse of some kind.  The most flawless entertainer can, perhaps, juggle six balls, four dolls, three cats and two chain saws.  But only for a limited amount of time.  Those who seem outwardly to do the impossible over long periods are very likely experiencing a sense of failure inside, or at the very least, they are overwhelmed.

That leaves us with self-satisfaction as a justification for putting off until tomorrow what is best done today.  Why might that be an irrational stance?  After all, we have talked about how it is irrational to DEMAND perfection or to DEMAND that situations and other people be the way we want—so how is it wrong to be self-satisfied?  A lot of people who lean back and take it easy, rather than diving in to achieve a goal that is in front of them, are actually awaiting some magic solution to avoid what needs doing.  Others may be engaging in a little bit of mental escape from the facts of the moment.  It might be “too much to face” the task or situation, but that often becomes a permanent strategy rather than a momentary respite.  These individuals will make jokes about their procrastination or make excuses that hold up for a while, but are ultimately unsatisfactory.  They will promise to do things and then fail to follow through, or “forget” what has been agreed upon, and feel better momentarily as the sense of pressure is lifted.  This is self-defeating, and can be defeating to careers, marriages, and friendships as well.

My friend has a saying for nearly any occasion, usually something he’s read or heard that makes sense, and on the matter of excuses he relates: “excuses are only satisfying to those who make them.”

Overcoming procrastination then, is not so much a single act, but more a change of perspective.  Reducing the irrational belief that I must be perfect, or that I must always say “yes” to any task that is asked of me—that is certainly a beginning—but it will take more.

Because procrastination is a “way of life” for some of us, it requires that we take real action to make change happen.  Further, we will almost certainly find that even after we have reduced our demands on ourselves and the rest of the world, it will be easy to slide back into believing that we MUST have things a certain way.  I have found it helpful to create small reminders for myself so that during the course of a day I reinforce my motivation for changes that I want to make.  These ideas might be helpful to you as well.

Dots: the kind you write garage sale prices on.  These come in all colors and can be stuck onto your shaving mirror or the mouse next to your computer.  A yellow dot on the gearshift knob reminds me that I don’t need to rush everywhere—and another red dot on the rearview mirror is a signal to slow down and breathe deeply at stop lights.  This kind of reminder system works best when you are making change in a particular attitude or behavior, and you know exactly what the dot (or the color) means in relation to the change.

Stickies: the be-all-and-end-all of office organizational tools, the ubiquitous yellow sticky note now comes in all colors and shapes, ready to carry a reminder message in places where you need it most.  A “what’s ONE thing you can do right NOW?” sticky note inside my daily planner is a reminder that I cannot do anything about ___(you insert the international crisis issue of choice here)___ but I certainly CAN pick up the phone and call my Dad to connect for a few moments between appointments.

Rewards: these can be anything from the reward of a few moments relaxing with savored memories, to a bouquet of roses for no special occasion, to a week at the beach.  For myself, I tend to look for “experiences” (concert tickets, a day at the ballpark, learning something new on my guitar from someone else) as my reward because those become cherished memories that can be savored.  My wife, on the other hand, prefers rewards that she can use (a new kitchen gadget, a basket for yarn) because these are tangible reminders of an accomplishment.

You’ll find your own reminders once you begin developing a greater awareness of when, and how, you set yourself up for procrastination by demanding that things be a certain way before you can set out to meet your particular goal.

Apparently, because you are reading this little blurb on procrastination, you are already aware of ways you use it to defeat yourself at times.  Just being a little bit more watchful for times when you feel insistent about something (“I really SHOULD have been able to do this far better!” Or “it just isn’t RIGHT that things work out this way!”) will usually reveal the attitude of demand that often lies behind so many occasions of self-sabotage.  Catching yourself as the demanding attitude takes hold will be a big help.  Knowing that you may not always reach perfection is a terrific beginning.  Reminding yourself that distractions are a sure-fire way to end up doing something OTHER THAN what you will be proud of, is another.

We all procrastinate some of the time, distract ourselves, or fear doing poorly some of the time.  By accepting myself for being a “regular guy” who sometimes does really great things, and sometimes messes up, I am able to feel pretty good about myself without getting too puffed up about being perfect (as long as I have my sticky notes to remind me!)

Posted in: General @ 10:08 pm