Effective self-control is one of the two most important keys to success in many areas of life (intelligence is the other), and failed self-control may lead to forms of behaving badly (criticism, defensiveness, etc.) or more serious forms of disturbance: anxiety, anger, and depression; verbal or physical violence; substance abuse and addiction; masochism; eating disorders; etc.

Strong research supports that self-regulation operates as a limited resource, (akin to strength or energy) and can be depleted when you are stressed by too many challenges and stressors in your day. This leaves a person vulnerable to impulsive and undercontrolled behaviors (too much eating, drinking, yelling, spending, etc.). Cognitive and physical rest, and enhancement of positive emotions can restore these resources, which are also used for decision-making and active responding. This week, think of the things you do (or create new ones) that lift your mood, slow down your thinking, and relax your body. Practice one technique in each of the following categories: (more…)

No matter what issue you’re struggling with—whether it relates to completing tasks around the home, or pulling yourself out of a period of negative emotions—the antidote will relate to action.  I have met with patients convinced that their depression was insurmountable, and I’ve talked with students who thought that the responsibilities of work, school and home were irreconcilable.  In both cases, they were surprised to find that life got more manageable as soon as they actually got started.

For some of us, getting started feels like a mental thing.  The “thinking stage” of making changes.  Planning.  Getting conceptually organized, and so forth.  These are valuable aspects of moving ahead, but not really quite what I mean in this case: actual movement is what’s needed.  There are a few strategies you might try for getting a bit of traction on forward momentum.  I present these as a few to “get you started.” (more…)